Finding your inner wisdom
I have clients ask me sometimes what they should do about the kids fighting, or about the toddler who cries all the time, or about the teenager who isn't making good choices. They hope somebody else knows the answers for them. I know just how they feel, because I often wish somebody would just tell me all the right things to do. If I just knew what they were, I would definitely do them!
Please let the record show that I am ALL FOR improving our skills by taking classes, reading books, or listening to podcasts. The more skills and tools we have to work with, the better!
But when it comes right down to it, mothering is a unique and very personal job. No two mothers are alike. No two kids are alike. No two situations are exactly alike. The answer for one mother will be very different from the answer for another.
My job as a coach is never to tell them which actions to take. My job is to help them access their own inner wisdom. I help them clean up their thinking so that things feel clearer, and the decisions are easier to make.
In the coaching world we call it "inner wisdom," but I believe what we are really talking about is tapping into the still, small voice of the Spirit. As we lay aside our worldly stresses and confusion, our minds are clearer, and more open to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. That is where true wisdom and peace will be found.
I recently came across this promise from Elder Ballard to mothers:
"Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it." (April 2008)
What a promise! What a privilege! We have access to the perfect source of knowledge!
I love the truth that our children were not sent to us randomly. Heavenly Father sent your children to you for a reason. He knew that you could help them learn what they need to learn, and they would help you to learn and grow in the ways you need.
If we wait for someone else to tell us what to do in each challenging situation, we will miss out on the process of discovering our own inner wisdom- the process of quieting our minds and tuning in to the voice of the Spirit.
I know I have done my job as a coach when a mother learns to tune in and trust her own inner wisdom. She learns to sort through her own thoughts and recognize which ones are useful, and which ones are distractions. She learns to set aside the fear and the drama and the worry. It takes skill and a lot of practice, but there is NO BETTER use of our energy!
When the goal is peace and wisdom, the first step is learning to organize our minds.
Christi

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