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Showing posts from July, 2019

Feeling connected

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My husband and I have both been super busy this summer.  We get up at different times and go to bed at different times.  Sometimes we both make it to the dinner table at the same time, sometimes we don't. It's easy during these busy times to lose a sense of closeness and connection. In our case, this level of busyness is going to be temporary, and there are some circumstances that we will be able to change to make connection easier. But what about when your husband travels all the time for work? Or when one of you has a demanding calling that takes lots of time? What about when spending lots of quality time together is just not possible?  Is your marriage connection doomed? Here is what I want to offer:  connection is an emotion that you feel.  That means it is created by your thoughts.  And while I am a firm believer in making time together a priority, sometimes it's not possible.  I want to suggest that even during those times, there are ...

Why self confidence matters

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We all know people that seem to be naturally self-confident.  It seems so easy for them to walk into any social situation and be totally at ease.  They seem calm and comfortable in their own skin.  Many of us watching wish that was a talent that we had.  Sometimes we think they are just “lucky.”  They have a gift that we don’t have. I have good news for you!  Confidence is a skill that can be taught and learned!  Yes, It may come more naturally to some than others.  So does playing the piano.  But  anyone  can learn to play the piano with some good old-fashioned determination and practice.  Anyone who wants to can develop self-confidence. Why does it matter, you ask?  First of all, self-confidence  feels good !  But even more important than that, having confidence enables you to show up in your life as the best version of yourself. A confident mom doesn’t wring her hands and worry what her in laws ar...

Zooming in on the moments

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I have a random memory from years ago that is still vivid in my mind.  My children were little, and we were out in the backyard together playing in the grass. We heard a hissing noise, and realized that the timer had turned on the drip system to water the grape vines. As the well at the base of the vine started filling up with water, one of the kids stooped down to get a closer look.  In excitement, she called us all over to see what was going on. The little bugs that lived at the base of the vine were all climbing up to escape the water. We all lay there in the grass, on our stomachs, observing the bugs and cheering for their safety.  I remember thinking that I never wanted to forget that moment.  I was surrounded by my little ones, with nothing more important to do than lie in the grass together and watch the bugs. Beautiful moments like that are happening all the time, all around us.  But usually we hold our "magnifying glass" up to the wr...

Being scared

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I was coaching a client recently on being scared.  She is starting a new business, and her brain is giving her a list of all the things that could go wrong. She was feeling scared, and making it mean that maybe this wasn't such a good idea. We talked about roller coasters.  People stand in long lines and pay lots of money to go on roller coasters.  We love the thrill!  Knowing that we are actually safe... we still love that rush of being scared. Life requires us to do all kinds of scary things.   Having a baby can be scary.  Being asked to serve in a church calling that is way our of our comfort zone is scary.  Having a spouse or a child that makes "bad" choices can be scary.  Sometimes we have to move to a new place and meet all new people.  Maybe it's a health diagnoses that feels scary.  Scary is just a part of life. What if that's not a bad thing?  In the pre-existence didn't we shout for joy at the chance to come ...

How to really have a good time

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Yesterday was a wild day!  I wish I had a picture that did it justice. Two of my sisters and I took 10 kids (most of whom were under the age of 6) on a day trip to Flagstaff.  We all piled into my big van, armed with crafts, snacks and suckers (to be used as bribes in case of emergency.) Our first stop was Montezuma's Castle, where we all trudged down the trail to see the Native American ruins.  After oohing and ahhing for a few minutes, we were starting to sweat.  It was about 100 degrees, and baby faces were starting to turn red.  We tried to make sure everyone had a turn with the water bottles, while trying at the same time to make sure nobody ran off into the desert or hit anyone else in the face. We attempted to make our way back to an air conditioned car, but it was slow going.  The older children, who were perfectly capable of walking, wanted to be carried, while the younger ones who couldn't follow directions wanted to walk on their own....