True confidence


I've been talking with clients a lot this week about negative emotions, and how sometimes we go to such great lengths to avoid them!  Usually our greatest fears in life are fears of how we might feel.

Think about the things in life that scare you the most.  Losing a loved one? Being rejected? Failing at something important?  Let's look at why those things are so scary.

If I, for example, lose a child, what is going to happen?  I will feel sadness and grief.  I may feel anger or loss or guilt.  I will most definitely feel some negative emotion.  But in reality, that is the worst thing that can happen.  I will feel terrible, and I know how to do that.  

What if someone I love rejects me?  A spouse, a child or a friend.  Then what?  Then I feel some negative emotions.  I may feel fear or insecurity or grief.  But I know how to feel negative emotions.

What if I try something big and it fails?  I might feel disappointment or embarrassment or shame.  But I know how to feel those things. I know how to process those emotions, and I know they will pass.

When we "signed up" to be human, we signed up to feel negative emotions.  It's part of the deal.  And in reality, it is the contrast that we need to be able to enjoy the wonderful and beautiful.  No amount of running and hiding or wishing it wasn't so is going to change that.  Negative emotions are part of the human experience.

Emotions can be defined as "a vibration in the body."  Some vibrations feel good, some feel terrible, but unless we let them control our actions, they are all harmless.  We feel them, sometimes even physically feel them, but if we know how to allow them and process them, they will pass.

Emotions are not something to be afraid of.  Even negative ones.

Imagine the freedom and confidence that would come from knowing that no matter what happens in the future, you can totally handle the emotion.  Then there is no reason to worry about the future!  There is no goal too big or scary to set!  There is nothing holding you back from living the life you dream of living!

True confidence is knowing that no matter what happens, you can totally handle it.


Christi




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