Christi Davis Coaching

This morning I went for a walk to soak up as much SPRING as I can.  The weather is perfect, the air is thick with the perfume of orange blossoms, and when the breeze blows, it carries tiny white petals from the apricot blossoms that are being replaced with bright green leaves.  It feels so magical! I found myself wishing that I could bottle up this feeling of life and energy and optimism so that I could pull it out later in the year to enjoy it again! Just then my "coaching brain" kicked in. I realized that those emotions were not actually caused by the spring, but by my thoughts about spring.  If I figure out exactly what the thoughts are that are causing the emotions, then I should be able to recreate the emotions any time I want, right? Here are some of the thoughts that I want to remember to use later: The earth is beautiful and full of life. I am full of life. I want to savor this moment. I love the way all of those thoughts feel right now!  I'l...

I have honestly had this thought before:  "I could be the  best  mom if I only my kids would leave me alone and let me get some things done!" It sounds so ridiculous when I say it out loud!  But it felt pretty reasonable at the time.  I had such a deep desire to be a great mom, and some pretty elaborate visions of what that looked like! In my mind, a great mom fed her kids healthy, home cooked meals.  She had systems for chores, so not only would the house stay clean, but the kids would be learning valuable skills along the way. She tucked the kids in every night so they would feel safe and happy as they fell asleep.  She taught the gospel in ways that were fun and meaningful.  She created an environment that was engaging and educational, and didn't ever use the TV as a babysitter.  She planned outings, encouraged children to develop their natural talents, and always led by example. The problem is, I never have figured out how ...

Last week my dear Aunt Andy passed away.   She was my mom’s only sister, and her children were almost like siblings to us growing up.   She was a wonderful example to me of faith and love, and of keeping an eternal perspective. She was also a great musician, and helped to foster a love of music in our extended family. When my cousin spoke at her funeral, she talked about what a great accompanist she was.   She had a talent for being able to follow the singer (she was playing the piano) even when they got lost or sang the wrong thing at the wrong time.   The audience never knew something had gone wrong, because she could find them where they were, and support them there. She talked about how that was one of her talents in life as well.   She could find people where they were, love them there, and support them in their journey.   There were so many people that were drawn to her and her home because of the love and acceptance they felt there...

I've been coaching quite a bit on guilt lately.  While guilt can be a useful emotion in some situations, getting "stuck" there, wallowing in guilt is the opposite of helpful. Here is the definition of guilt that I use:  Guilt is a "warning bell" that two things we value may be in conflict with each other .  It is designed to alert us to the situation.  After we have become aware, evaluated the situation, and made a conscious decision, then it is appropriate to turn off the alarm . Let me illustrate.  Maybe I eat a donut, then feel guilty about it.  My alarm is going off.  I believe in eating healthy, but donuts taste so good! Two things I value are in conflict.  That guilt helps me become aware of that.  Then I get to choose which I value more.  Maybe I choose healthy eating.  Maybe I choose donuts.  Either way, I get to make a conscious choice, then turn off the alarm.  Feeling guilty about what has already passed...