I am not who I thought I'd be!



I remember my first real wake up call as a mom.  My sweet little baby was maybe 3 weeks old.  My mom had gone home, and my husband and I were both back in school full time.  My little bundle of joy would only sleep if she was in physical contact with me, and insisted on eating every two hours, around the clock.

One night, in the middle of the night, I lost it.  My baby was wide awake, and I desperately needed sleep.  I panicked, and for the first time I understood why a parent would want to shake a baby.  It scared me.   I started sobbing, wondering what in the HECK was wrong with me!  I was obviously not qualified to be a mother.

Thankfully, I had a husband who was willing and able to take a night shift.  I left the baby crying in the front room and went to wake him up, explaining that I was in no condition to take care of another human.

After a few hours of sleep, and after the panic had worn off, I spent some time pondering.  I was genuinely confused.  Moms were the ones who could do it all, right?  They were the ones who knew the answers and stayed calm and patient all the time, right??  

I mean... my mom did.  I don't remember ever seeing her lose it like I had just lost it.  There must be something wrong with me.  That magical thing that turns 23 year old girls into wise and patient mothers had somehow failed to happen to me!

I called my mom to tell her that the patience gene must have skipped a generation, because I didn't have it.  She laughed a little and said "Do you think I started off this patient? It has taken me many years of practice to get where I am now."  I had never considered that.  I guess I just assumed it had been granted to her because she was a mom.

So many of us grow up with a rosy picture of motherhood in our minds.  We plan on a happy husband, perfect children, and a smiling mom.  We envision clean houses and  healthy meals and darling crayon pictures on the fridge.  And those things do happen sometimes.  Just not as often as we thought they were going to.

I guess my point today is this:  it's ok if you're not as good at this mothering thing as you thought you would be.  None of us are.  There is nothing wrong with you, just because you have room to improve.

Which brings me to my next point:  you CAN improve!  If mothering is a top priority for you, and you want to be the very best at it that you possibly can, there are tools to help you do better.  Just like you would study and plan for any other profession, you can study and plan to improve your mothering.

If you want to love being a mom, but the very people that you love are driving you crazy, I can teach you how to turn things around.  I have helped many other mothers, and I can help you.

click here to reach out to me

Christi

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